Meditation: Being on the Journey and Seeing God’s Back
And Moses said to God, “Now, therefore, I pray you, if I have found favor in your sight, show me now your ways, that I may know you and find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is your people.” And God said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” And the Lord said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do; for you have found favor in my sight and I know you by name.” Moses said, “I pray you, show me your glory.” And God said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim before you my name, ‘The Lord’; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But,” he said, “you cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live.” And the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand upon the rock; and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by; then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back; but my face shall not be seen.” (Exodus 33: 13, 14, 17-23, paraphrased)
Sometimes I like to think about life as being on a journey. Moses and the Israelites were on a journey, and they were counting on God to be with them. They left Egypt and slavery, followed Moses into the desert, received ten commandments, made a golden calf to worship, and felt God’s anger with their travesty of worshipping a false god.
I have found this a difficult story to follow sometimes, with Moses going up and down Mount Sinai, encountering Yahweh and receiving not only the ten commandments familiar to all of us, but many other detailed laws and proscriptions as well. Meanwhile, the people are becoming restless at the bottom of this mountain, and maybe they are wondering why they ever left Egypt — why they are on this scary journey through the desert. And where are they going, anyway? They begin to rumble. The people have lost sight not only of Moses but also of God’s presence on their journey.
Being on the journey is, for me, a dynamic metaphor that helps me interpret this desert story. I am like these people — wondering sometimes where I am going and where God is. And I am like Moses — wanting to see God’s face — wanting to know the meaning of all that is going on in this journey. I want to know what God looks like in this world. I want to know that everything will work out for the best. I want to be in control. I want to see it all now. I want to see God’s face.
One day as I listened to this passage being read, I was struck by the following words that God was speaking to Moses: “You cannot see my face — no one shall see me and live.” But then God also says to Moses that he will be able to see God’s back after God’s glory has passed by.
When the struggles come in my life, I grit my teeth, do the best I can to work my way through them, sometimes asking “Where is God in all of this?” I feel abandoned in this world — things are hopeless — where am I going anyway? And then I catch a glimpse of God’s back, and I see that God has been present all along. But I have been so busy looking for God’s face that I have almost missed seeing God’s back.
Moses had to take timeout to see God’s back. I can get so caught up in the whirl of modern-day living that I miss God’s back — God’s presence. Like Moses, I need to take timeout, to be reflective rather than just acting and reacting to all that is going on. I need to keep remembering that God is with me on the journey.