Practical, Therapeutic, Theological Thought
Life and Games
Motto: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” — Sigmund Freud
The statement “life is a game” is a metaphor. In a metaphor, we compare two unlike things without words of comparison. A metaphor is distinct from an analogy. In a metaphor, we say that one thing actually is the other; whereas, in an analogy, we say one thing is like another. There is a qualitative difference in the intensity of the comparison.
I use games, especially sports, to shed light on how I am playing my positions in life. I can’t see my position in the whole of life clearly, there is too much mystery for that; but there are important fields of action in which I can identify my position.
For example, I have had the positions of husband and father for a number of years. Perhaps you, too, are a husband and a father or a wife and a mother or a daughter or a son. Maybe you are a grandparent, aunt, or uncle. Friend is a position that is nearly universal and employee and student are common.
Sports analogies provide insights into the various positions we play. A successful outcome in a game is not guaranteed and opponents or teammates can make plays that negate our efforts. But, there is no substitute for playing one’s position as effectively as possible under the existing circumstances.
When we find ourselves in difficult predicaments and it seems impossible to do something constructive — situations like one’s marriage going bad, one’s child getting into trouble, losing a job, or having difficulty at work, analyzing our life as a game is a good way to get a handle (a metaphor worthy of reflection) on things.
When I do not feel good about my life, it is likely that I am either playing my position poorly, playing the wrong game, or suffering a significant defeat. Looking at things this way helps me understand my situation better. It enables me to see myself in action. Metaphors and analogies for understanding our predicaments can be found in music or carpentry or caring for children or in lots of other things. The best analogies are activities that a person understands and loves. For me, ball-playing analogies are hard to beat.
In life situations, particularly when we are having problems in a relationship, it is common to get hung up on trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong. This takes us out of the action and distracts us from playing our positions. Judgments of right and wrong reduce reality to a linear perspective and, at best, they are minimally helpful for playing well in full-bodied, three-dimensional reality. Making such judgments is usually an obstacle to playing well because it distracts a person from keeping his or her eye on the ball.
It does not help a shortstop, for example, to prove that he or she booted a grounder in the fifth inning, allowing three unearned runs, because there is a rough spot in the infield and the ball took a bad bounce, or that the bigger fault lies in the mistakes of the coach or a teammate. What matters is playing one’s position as well as one can for the rest of the game.
The games, the orchestras, the hobbies or artistic endeavors of our lives are in progress. Tune in next issue for some play-by-play.